jadesfire2

So I saw Avatar (as in blue people, not last airbender) and it was good. It wasn't great, mind you, but for all the potential it had to fail, it didn't, and it entertained. The special effects were very nice, though they were also smoke and mirrors to cover over the many holes and a few just plain bad scripting decisions.

Is this movie going to, as promised, change the way all movies are made from now on? HA! No. How can it? Avatar is nothing we havent seen before. Its Dances With Wolves meets Pocahantas meets Fern Gully. It may change the way cg effects are done, but I'm not decided on if this is a good thing or not.

Now, don't get me wrong, there was a lot to like in Avatar. But there was a lot I was disapointed with. Perhaps my biggest disapointment was the lack of blue wang. I mean, COME ON, James Cameron. With Watchmen out, you had the chance to make 2009 the Year of the Blue Wang, but noooo, you had to go for the fanservice to the boys. So predictable.

As for the rest of it, here are a few of my thoughts, in bullet form:

BE WARNED, THERE ARE SPOILERS

- The ore/mineral/stuff they were trying to mine, it was called "unobtanium". Now, I'm gonna go ahead and assume this was a commercial nickname, because I can't imagine any real scientist naming anything that. I mean, that sounds like a "My First D&D Campaign" name.

- I liked that the Na'vi were nine feet tall. Considering that they walked like us, talked like us, and aparently had sex like us, it helped to establish their alienness.

- at least star trek TRIES to give you a scientific explaination for something that isnt feisable with our current technology. Look, I know this is from Mr. Mariene's point of view, and maybe he doesnt care about it, but a science fiction movie should at least showcase a little more science in my opinion. (all this is mainly my beef about how nobody asked or try to explain why the mountains float. Even a simple "We havent figured out how they float yet" would have been a nice acknowledgement that the scientists were at least TRYING to do their jobs. Instead it was like OH HEY COOL FLOATING MOUNTAINS).

- You know what? I get why this movie was overexposed to the point of irritation. Serenity proved that you can have a great science fiction movie, but it wont make money unless the general public thinks its "okay" to go to the theatre and see a science fiction movie. In my experience, most people who think they don't like science fiction have actually never even tried it, save a few mainstream exceptions like Back to the Future and Jurassic Park. Avatar's media blitz let everyone, not just the core nerd base, know about this movie. And if EVERYONE knows about this movie they you have to see it, geek or no.

- Going off the above notes, trying to mainstream Avatar was not helping to endear it to the scifi fans that would appreciate it most. I know plenty of scifi bufffs who like the movie, but is it going to win their hearts and minds in a truely lasting way? In my opinion, no. I could be wrong, but one thing I've learned from years in the geek dens is that we, as a people, are sticklers for detail. And no, I don't mean detail as in blue nipples. Take away the effects, and Avatar has just okay acting and a lot of things in need of refining.

- I loved Anna Lucia's character. I don't remember her name in this movie, or what the name of the actress is, so I'm calling her by the name I know her from in LOST. Why did she have to die? Is it too much to ask that they keep one of the two human female characters alive? If there's going to be a sequel to this movie (and lets face it, there probably is) then you need at least one scientist alive. So while it sucks they killed off Grace, at least there were one or two left. But come on, at least leave one human girl alive.

- Speaking of humans left alive, notive the only two good humans left at the end of the movie were the ones with the least character development. Even hawaian shirt nerd boy (see? I dont remember his name either!), who looked like he was going to be a major character in the beginning of the movie, drops off the face of Pandora halfway though and reappears near the end.

- Pudgy scientist mole got to stay behind because he was a friend to The People. But I think it was a bad idea for him to do so. The corporate guys didnt know he betrayed them until they saw he got to stay, he should have just gone home so there'd be at least one good guy going back to Earth to tell people the truth of how things went down. Now Coorperate Douchebag Guy is free to spin it how he wants. Also, for all that he does for everyone, pudgey scientist mole gets like five lines in this two hour movie.

- Speaking of people with no lines, could we have had just a bit more development on the other Na'vi? Maybe just a word or two with the other juniors taken up to the cliff for taradactyl riding? Maybe Grace saying a thing or two about the school?

- I loved how everything on Pandora was symbiotic in a very visible sense. I'm glad the desiners for this put so much thought into that. I just wish there'd been a geologist on staff to put as much thought into crafting the rest of the planet.

- We learned about early to midway through the movie that there were more Na'vi tribes. However, its not until the sequence where everyone is gathering together that we see these other tribes are not tree people tribes. On the one hand, this makes sense, however its easly to get so absorbed in all the tree plotpoints going around that you just assume its all tree people. This is another example of something in the movie that would have taken just a line or two to address better, but was not.

- Can we stop making White Guilt Eased by Taking Over the Tribe movies now?

Anyone who has lived with me knows I have seen every episode of Friends about sixty gagillion times. This show is my comfort food of white noise.

My new thing: watching uncut Friends episodes from the DVDs, specifically for the two or so minutes cut from syndicated broadcasts for time.

Granted its not the most glamorous of hobbies, but its nice to see "new" material from such a familiar place.

So this weekend was awesome with a capitol SOME. Friday I headed to Santa Cruz by way of the Tech Museum in San Jose as they were having a Star Trek exhibit. There were tons of props and costumes and some recreated sets, it was great. I got this picture of me on the transporter pad, but get this, the picture is holographic so when you turn it it looks like I'm beaming down! And I got to see the model for the Enterprise D, which is something I've wanted to see ever since I saw that episode of Reading Rainbow a billion years ago when Levar Burton takes you backstage TNG.

Lolly and Avi came to Lis's house on Saturday, and we prepped for the HOLY CRAP GIGANTIC CHRISTMAS PARTY. Lis's mom goes epic with the cooking. There's three different cakes, pies, beef wellington, cream puffs, syllabub, and mode. I helped cream the puffs and made pizzelles. It was all friggin delicious and now I need to figure out if beef wellington is something I can feasibly make.

Sunday we did the Bagelry, played Small World, saw The Princess and the Frog again, and went to trivia night at the Poet & Patriot. I contributed scraps of pop culture knowledge, and we won a free pitcher in the fourth round.

And that was my weekend, jam packed with good times. Now I get to sit on a plane all day. Philly trip starts tomorrow!

...let's assume it wont.

I am officially out of the habit of putting words together. Aside from a few offhandedly "professional" blog posts on the Tachyon Blog, I am quite off my game, and this needs to be rectified. Immediately.

Things that are new in the life of Liz- I put down my rat today. I'd wanted to wait until he was out of it, you know, until I was sure he was really ready to go, but I realized today he'd lost even more weight this past week, leaving him down to negative eleventy pounds. At this rate, he would have starved or frozen to death (my room is very cold), and that's not how I wanted him to go out, so I took him to the vet and had him put to sleep. It's sad, my room is all empty now.

I probably should wait a while until I get another pet, but who knows how long that will actually keep up. I mean, I held up all of a few weeks when Tweak and Dorian died.

In a perfect world I'd have my own place with a dog, or I'd be able to bring my cat up, but of course that's not happening right now. Know what I do have? ANTS. I have me some muthafuckin ANTS, and I am not happy. I spent the day filling every groove between the window and the wall with apoxy, and how much you wanna bet I'll wake up and they'll be back in full force tomorrow?

On to the good news!

Lis caved to guilttripping and visited me this weekend. We saw the Princess and the Frog and I loved it. Disney is nearly back on its game--I say nearly because the songs could have been better. They didn't have the easy rhythm and catchy lyrics songs aimed at children need..that isn't to say kid's music can't be good, but the score here missed its mark for its audience.

The rest of the movie was spot on fantastic. Tiana and the prince were entertaining separately and great together, the supporting characters were fun, the villian was creative (I wanted more of him!) and the art was GORGEOUS. There were places where Disney really could have screwed up, but didn't, and the fact that they didn't fall into the obvious potholes made me love it even more (because I've seen enough idiotic scripting choices to make me jaded). I loved Lottie. They could have made her the snotty, shallow, rich girl, but they didn't. She's just a sweet girl with poor focus. Another thing I worried about based on the previews, was that none of the trailers showed the human prince speaking, just him with a kinda silly voice that really worked with him as a frog. I wasn't sure I could reconcile that voice to his human face, but it turns out it works just fine, and actually adds to Naveen's crazy charm.

Oh! and in the exciting world of me-getting-paid, I'm gonna get paid! I'll be getting a salary once I'm back from the Christmas/Birthday holiday tour. It won't be much, but its more than I thought I was getting and that'll be a good dent in my bills. So far I'm handling a lot of design stuff. Aside from updating the website, I've been doing the press kit for The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer. Reviewers will get, along with the press release and author bio pages, a set of three recipe cards for the proper preparation of some imaginary dishes. Ann Vandermeer wrote the recipes and I designed the cards, and they look very snazzy. We're hoping to do some signed, limited edition copies of the book that will also have the recipe cards in them.

mm... ok, I'm going to leave off here. Apologies to flisties this past month. I've seen some crazy posts this past month but I neglected to comment (Bad Liz! I KNOW!). I am going to get back on this livejournal horse.

 Today was not a good day for me, car wise.

First I had an hour and a half commute home from the city, took forever just to GET to the damn bridge.  Then after the Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert, I call up dad to say goodnight and he tells me a parking ticket was sent to the house.  250$!  For parking in a bus zone! WHICH I TOTALLY DID NOT DO!

The liscence plate number is right on the ticket, but the ticket also said my car is blue, so I don't know what's going on here.  I've got some phone calls to make tomorrow, also to the pet meds distribitor asking WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SEND SIMON'S MEDS TO MY BILLING ADDRESS WHEN I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO!?

Ugh, I need to shower but after that it is so time for bed before my car explodes or something.

 October is Con season in the Bay Area.  I'm supposed to go to two through my internship, and one I want to do on my own, and somehow gotta make Lis's food party.  This shall be ALL MY OCTOBER WEEKENDS PRETTY MUCH! WOO! I'm actually very excited about this, because the cons for the internship would be free for me.   Now all I have to do is restrain my unacceptable buying habits.  Eeeeeasyyyy....yeah. 

So yesterday was my first day at my internship.  It was a good day, even though there wasnt a lot for me to do yet.  I got a company tshirt (for funzies, not as a uniform) and they took me to lunch at a chinese resturant called Eliza's (today I saw a chinese resturant called Becky's, weird...) and I did some typing and made some corrections to a document.  You know, interny stuff!

I've also got a bit of a reading assignment, which is to read about half of this ARC of Booklife, which has a lot to say on promotion and new media.  And a lot to say about lists.  The author looooooves making lists.  I'm not kidding when I say its nice to have homework again.

Right now we're in a temporary office space.  We'll be moving into a bigger office in a few weeks.  The upside is it's bigger, and I'll have my own desk and work computer.  The downside is we won't have this amazing view:

 

 Pretty cheesed off right now.  Alcoholic guy in house has a problem with me cooking with wine, and a looot of recipies I use require wine.  

 After a freakishly mild summer, hot weather decended on the bay area of all places, and me without air conditioning.  I am in Oakland now, all moved in, mostly unpacked, and in a room that's half windows.

I can't say I feel at home yet.  I'm not used to moving into a place where people are already like, established in the house, so to speak.  I can't help but wish I was back at school.  I like school.  It's familiar, and I truely enjoy myself.  I'm in my element there. I know I can do well, I know how to do well, and I do well.  

Life transitions have always been a bitch for me.  Either I eventually get into a groove and enjoy myself, or I don't find it and go into some downward spiral.  I hate this beginning part, where I don't know which it's going to be.  I don't think I'd be feeling so bad if I were headed into a boring, drudgy job that didn't cost me much brain power.  I'd hate work, but I can't say I'd be nervous about it, because I'd know I could do it no problem (and I like the idea of having no problem).  

I have fear of success issues--or fear of failure issues, they sort of end up in the same file.  I also have major fear of making an ass of myself issues.  And I suppose it hurts that somwhere along the line, probably from tv, I got the idea that work is supposed to be this horrible thing that you have to suck up and do and it translates to the best years of your life being over, and really who would look forward to that?  So here have have this great internship, a great opportunity, and while I'm probably happy about it under all the nerves, I can't help but feel a bit abnormal.  

I don't feel like a grownup yet, but I'm not a student anymore.  I feel like I don't have a skin.  It would have been nice if I could afford my own place, and cable, and all the creature comforts.  Someplace I could decorate myself, fill up with my things, so at the end of a day where I don't know what I'm doing with my life I could at least come to someplace that feels like home.  It would have been nice if Sacramento had anything to offer in my feild, then I could have started off living at home until I got the hang of the job, done one thing at a time instead of BAM. New place, new job, new life.

I really don't want to be a person who lets her nerves rule her life, but its hard when it's nerves that rule the body.

 So I spent the last week in Los Angeles with Avi, who I have not seen in a year.  It was great to hang out, even though all the conversation with her and Lis was about old Who which I am not familiar with.  We went to the Elivis Costello concert, but more importantly, we went to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.  

ROSCOE'S CHICKEN AND WAFFLES, BITCHES!  

Roscoe was a genius, this is true.  My meal was artery clogging heaven. I've decided that its a good thing there isn't one of these resturants within driving distance of me because I would be soooo fat, I am in such love with this place.  

We also went on a small scale shopping spree where I bought a dress at Buffalo Exchange, a 40% off Demi at Victoria Secret, three books, three tshirts (one of which doesnt really fit but dammit I'm wearing it anyway), a scarf, some leggings that also don't fit, a load of baked goods, and an Ugly Doll.

On Saturday we drove back up to Santa Cruz.  Poor Bill, we pretty much spent the last half of the trip making him play Would You Rather? where most of the options involved furries or the sparklecock.

Yesterday I saw Julie and Julia with Lis's mom, who aparently is the only one on the planet who will see this film with me without flaking out.  Streep was as fabulous as I knew she would be, and its worth seeing the movie just for her.  Amy Adams was all right.  She swings back and forth from annoying as hell to nearly sympathetic.  Some of her annoying parts were actually the fault of corny lines that would have given a much better actress a run for her money (but a much better actress probably could have pulled it off).  The writing was just plain better for the Julia Child parts.  I don't know how that happened exactly, but if you add all the good up you have a movie that is 75% gold, and the other 25% is bareable enough.

But after the movie, when I get to the Oakland part of my trek back, is where things start to go bad.  First of all, I'd planned to unpack some of the stuff I'd brought on the way up and left in Lis's room last week.  But when I get to my room (yes, my room, I paid the damn rent) its a mess because someone else has been staying in it.  

Okay, fine, they were supposed to be out but I wasn't too worked up.  Even though I paid the rent I hadn't technically moved in yet so...okay, nothing to be too upset over (thouch come to think of it I wish I'd been told about this as yeah, I DID pay the damn rent).  Anyway the girl who was staying in it, who was also the renter of that room until July, came and informed me that she'd be picking up the furniture she'd left there WEEKS ago.  I don't know why she didn't pick up her shit before now, but after all this time we pretty much assumed she was leaving it there for good.  So I'd been under the assumption I was getting a furnished room.

And you know, I'm fine with her taking her stuff back, but I am not fine with the inconvenience.  The more I think about it, the more pissed I get, so I'm angier now than I was yesterday.  She could have friggin told SOMEONE in the house she was coming back for her shit, she could have had the manners to move her shit out in a timely manner, but now I have like three days to get a friggin van and get my nephews to help me move in because if I'm not getting the furniture then I have to bring my own, something I'd not planned time to do because I didn't think I would have to.  To put the icing on it, she didn't give a definite time for when she's coming back for her shit.  I believe she just said "I'm coming back later" or something to that effect.  This is something I plan to resolve tomorrow, because I need to move in Thursday, Friday at the latest and if her shit is still in my room it is going in the yard, and she better not give me sass about grasstains on the matress because she's the one who left it in MY ROOM.

If I was going to be a REAL bitch about this I'd calculate the days since she's vacated.  If its over thirty, then legally she's relinqushed claim to anything she left.

Anyway, after that lovely news I head home--and that's where the fun really starts.  First of all my Magellan GPS device did that thing where it thinks I'm completely somewhere else when I start it up.  The dumb thing is very picky about being turned off and then turned on at a different location and takes forever to sync.  While I'm waiting for it to sync, which takes 10-20 mins usually(!), I decide I'm just going to get on the freeway that I think it is.  Of course the freeway I picked was wrong, but at least I was headed east, ya know?  I was on the 580, which I believe eventually does sync up with the 80 of give you a junction or whatever.  The point is, I was going east when the Magellan kicked in and told me to turn around.

I should have known better when I bought this thing.  Why am I taking instructions from somoene who couldn't find the East Indies?



Anyway, it tells me to get off the freeway and get back on going West, which I do.  Let me tell you, the route Magellan picked to get me to the 80 was by far the least efficient route it could have possibly done.  It sends me to the friggin BAY BRIDGE, where it tells me to do a U turn.  A U TURN!  

Now, according to my father, if you get in the rightmost lane right before the toll booths, there is some kind of way to make a "double right" and get to the 80 that way, which I assume is what my stupidass Magellan was trying to make me do.  Now, first of all, there are much better ways to get to the 80 from the 580.  Like getting me off near Telegraph and getting me on the right onramp, for one.  Secondly, there are like ten lanes when you come up on the toll booths, and I was NOWHERE NEAR the rightmost one, and it's not like Magellan told me to get to the right lane in time to do that.

So I have to pay the damn toll and go accross the Bay Bridge, screaming and cursing all the way.  It tells me to get off at Treasure Island, and even though I am seething from its last instructions I do it because I figure I can U it on the island and not have to go to San Francisco. Magellan then proceeds to send me around the island and back to the Bay Bridge, STILL HEADED WEST.  In other words, I just took a spin around Treasure Fucking Island for shits and giggles, except I was really screaming the entire time and have you ever had to MERGE onto a BRIDGE!?

I called dad, had a hissyfit, vowed to run over my Magellan with the car, got to San Francisco, did a U turn, got back on the Bay Bridge, found the 80, and turned that traitorous bastard off for the last time.  I am shopping right now for its replacement.

I guess the moral of that story is I shouldn't skip church.  Other things I should not have done: got a friggin GPS without researching it, and lose the damn warranty. 

 Well it sure took enough agrivation but I got my little tv working on an antenna and converter box.  Everywhere in town is out of the boxes, so I had to drive all the way out near Arco Arena and the airport to Fry's, THE STORE WHERE NONE OF THE EMPLOYEES KNOW WHERE THEIR SHIT IS.  I asked like three guys where the boxes were and they each just pointed me in another direction until I finally found one that took me to the boxes sitting in an unlabled shopping cart in the middle of the aisle.  

But I got the antenna working and it looks pretty good.  I got quite a few more channels than I was expecting, but we'll have to wait and see what I pick up in Oakland.  So far I can't get abc, and I'm really hoping I pick it up in the new place because LOOOOST.

So starting with the good news, I GOT THE INTERNSHIP I WANTED! 

Next month I will be an intern at a real live publishing house.  Tachyon Publications--support me, buy their books!  It was origionally supposed to be a paid internship for like six months, but now its unpaid for three with the possibility of being hired on.  

BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE INTERVIEW.

I drove down to Oakland the day before to stay at Lis's house (where I will also be living at the end of the month) so I could drive to my interview from there.  I don't know if it was a spider bite or if there's something in proscuitto that I'm allergic to, but I woke up the next day looking I like got Pamela Anderson collagen on the left side of my mouth.  

Being me, and being home alone with nobody to talk me down, I freaked out and drove to the ER where I then paid a hundred dollar copay for them to tell me I'm fine and give me generic claratin. 

Long story short, I got out of Kaiser just in time to drive to my interview, but I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.  I decided to be a little late so I can run back to the house to change into one of the THREE nice outfits I brought and the new shoes I bought just for this interview, but as I was getting out of the car I realised that I'd locked the door on the way out and nobody was home to let me back in. 

So I went to the interview on time in jeans and a sweatshirt and my paper Kaiser bracelets--I couldn't even take off the sweatshirt because underneath it I was wearing my Reel Big Fish concert "We're Not Happy 'Till You're Not Happy" shirt without a bra.  (Later dad would ask me why I even own a shirt like that and I pointed out that I was currently wearing a tshirt with two kittens batting a hand grenade).

So either I was somehow mega awesome at the interview, everyone else sucked, or I was the only one but I got the gig!  Lookit me, I'm such a grownup.  If someone asks me what I do I can say "I'm in publishing."  I don't get paid for it, but hey, semantics.  

The bad news is that I found a lump in Simon's testacle.  It could be a cyst but it's probably cancer, as rats are exremely prone to cancer.  He could have an expensive ball-ectomy, and while I'm at it remove the other glands down there giving him problems, but I've decided against it for a few reasons.  The first of which is I can't friggin afford it.  The second of which is he's nearly two, and that's about the life expectancy of the average rat whose owners don't go for expensive surgerys.  I've heard of rats that have lived to be five, but had a fuckton of health problems, probably due do being about five hundred in rat years.  Given Simon's age and his weight (huge! you try making a rat diet) I just don't think surgery is the way to go even if I could afford it.  I actually wasn't expecting him to live much longer after Charlie died, rats tend to be very unhappy without cagemates but with his infections I couldn't get him a playmate.  He seems to be okay, though he needs more attention from me.  He's a bit more sluggish than he used to be, but that's normal for his age (and weight holycraphe'sfat).  I'm just going to try and keep him happy for however long he naturally has left and I guess that will be that.  

And now the frumpy.  

I've been having this recurring dream where I'm back at school--sometimes its high school, sometimes its UCSC--but I've overslept and I'm late for my first class.  I try to get to it, but I don't remember my schedule, and I get lost trying to find someone who can tell me.  I wonder around campus groggy out of my mind, needing to get to class because its two weeks in and I haven't shown up once, but all I want to do is take a nap.

I've been thinking things over and I've discovered something--that is, I hadn't realized until now how much my anxiety disorder has effected my writing.  Even though the worst of it was freshman year, it got me into a cycle that I still haven't successfully broken.  I've always had trouble finishing things I start, that hasn't changed, but I never used to have troulbe starting things in the first place.

In high school, what I was mostly writing was fanfic, though I had a big enough stack of half started novels which I used to think were brilliant and now realize were probably just anime on paper.  But anyway.  I may not have been fast at updating my fanfics but it friggin GOT DONE.  I wrote, I wrote A LOT, even if it never got posted.

I don't write a lot anymore.  I think about writing a lot, I have long, wonderful, conplex stories in my head that I want to get out, but I haven't put them on paper.  I've barely tried.  The writing I've mostly done has been for class, and it's been good, but when the class is done so is the writing and that is much less good.  

It started with high school graduation, with the panic attacks that kept punching me down and turning me into this spaztic, terrified person.  I had never been unalbe to act before in my life.  Before, I would act or I would not act.  I'd take in the possibility of failure, weigh how much I cared, and decided.  It had never occurred to me before that fall in 2004 that I could decide to act and then be unable to do it.  

I was never a stranger to irrational fear ( I was terrified of the dark and slept with a nightlight until I was like, fourteen) but fear had never left me paralyzed before.  I hadn't known it could happen, but once I found out, I couldn't unlearn that.  So now, every time I'm anxious about something, even if it's only a little bit, there's always a grain of that paralysis in me.  More often than I'd like to admit, I let it win, and I stop.  I just stop.  

I started writing when I was fourteen, because it helped get me through depression.  My mother died and I thought "Well if I can get through this, I can get through anythying," and I was powerful.  And then that power was taken away from me by my own body, my own brain, and I never completely got it back.  I probably haven't even gotten it half back.  

 I really do want it back, because like it or not I am a different person than I was back then.  You can't have a total breakdown and come back the same person.  That's why all the writing I started in high school won't get finished, not even TGG which used to be my friggin opus or whatnot, because even though I still love the story I don't know how to write it anymore.  

I have stories I love now, too.  Stories that I do know how to write, if I could just cross this anxious bridge and start them.

Has everyone heard the news?  It's fantastic! Thats right folks, I found my Polly Pockets.

I thought I had given them away (and I had given away or lost a few sets and pieces) but while I was cleaning out storage bins, lo! There they were! A whole bag of 'em.

Let's check in on Pollyville, shall we?



Here's Polly's house!  Oh look, the light's on.  Let's say hi.



Oops, looks like she's sleeping.  We'll check back another time.

Meanwhile, enjoy this comic!  (you'll need to click for full view)
Like so many things, it's based on a true story.

 
So I'm trying to write/draw a series of comics about some books in historical settings.  The problem is finding references for period clothing.  I mean, I have a hard enough time drawing guys without worrying about if their suit is appropriate to their class and income level.  AND THEN there's the problem of men who are stated in the book to dress outrageously even for their time, WHERE DO I FIND REFRENCE FOR THAT?  

Venting.  I does it.

So I'm sitting here, unemployed and directionless, and I've discovered something about myself--I've always been this way.  Indecisive, that is.  I don't know whether it's this urge to do everything, or a fear of picking something, but I have such a hard time picking a track and sticking to it.  

I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up any more when I was a kid than I do now.

So right now, my current goal is to finish something that I've already started.  It might be something small, like that book I put down, or something bigger, like an unfinished story I was writing.  Or maybe I'll finish cleaning the garage so my dad can put his car back in there.  Whatever it is, it's gonna get done, and when I'm done, I'll move on to the next unfinished thing, if only to prove I can.  

Because not knowing what I want to do with my life doesn't mean I have to do nothing.

Cover letters are the best and worst part of the resume process.  They give more personality to your resume, giving you a leg up if you do well--or a leg down if you don't.  My problem is always trying to figure out how not to sound needy/pompus/pushy/dumb as bricks, not to mention the problem of sounding completely generic.  Here's a conversation that pretty much sums up my opinion of the cover letter:


 Jadesfire chan (4:00:14 AM): ugh, I need another word for "Experience"

So I was in Iran because my parents wanted to join the protest, though for some reason Iran was a British colony yet the protests were over the election that just happened.  Then it turned out the protest was a game of dodgeball.  

After I got out for failing to make a catch, I wondered off trying to find the car--I'm not sure if it was a rental or if we actually DROVE to Iran--and struggling to keep a scarf on my head and tying this long skirt thing over my regluar clothes.  I got lost, the street signs were in Farsi, and then I passed two nuns who made fun of me by talking about me like I A) wasn't there and B) was a boy.  

Then this skater boy type guy shows up, and aparently we'd met before and he started telling me how I was taking bad care of my rat.

WTF am I supposed to make of all this?